You are my birth land, my homeland, the land where I feel most myself….yet I left you behind. I didn’t plan it intentionally, although I have always traveled regularly. My beautiful country: so much has happened!
I’ve always been (and always will be) an American through and through.
The first word that comes to mind when I think of you is FREEDOM.
Heck yeah! Freedom is what we stand for.
Freedom in every way. Freedom from oppression, Freedom of speech, Freedom to own land, Freedom from social class, Freedom to vote, and Freedom to become whoever the hell you want, regardless of your birth circumstances. Long Live USA!
Yet…I’ve left you….for a bit.
I’m not saying I’m gone forever but I sincerely needed a break. Things have been crazy with you lately. You are not acting like yourself. You have gotten used, abused, and taken advantage of. You are like this aging movie star who outwardly looks like she has a dream life but is secretly popping pills for severe depression. I see your hurt and pain. You put on a good show but you can’t fool me.
We have gone from the land of the free to the land of the fake, corrupt, and selfish. Americans are good people but there are a few, the ultra-wealthy, who see you as a playground, a place to rape and plunder, and sadly, they seem to control everything. Our laws protect you…for a bit. But not enough. Money conquers all. It is a land founded in murder and blood. Taken by force from the natives. Passed around. It is a place where right and wrong can be interpreted based on how much power and money are at stake. Sadly, it is getting harder and harder to identify “the good guys”.
My last months in America were filled with pain. I saw so many jobless, struggling, desperate, and homeless people and before I left, it was probably the peak I’ve ever seen in California. Normal people losing their homes, living in their cars, going to Starbucks to use the Wi-fi to look for work, and taking showers at the cheapest gym in town. Many had kids. No one acted like a victim though and most didn’t act for handouts. They were all hustling double time, taking on any job, multiple jobs, trying to get back into normalcy. On Christmas Eve I saw many. I spoke with a few. It broke my heart.