Shattered — The Raw, Unfiltered Feeling of Loss and Grief

Photo by Nathan Wright on Unsplash

Grief, my old friend, you are back.

I don’t ever invite you; you just show up when you want.

I try so hard to shake it but you are there.

You sit on my chest like a heavyweight, holding me down.

I can’t swallow and my breathing is shallow.

This is what death must feel like.

I am sinking.

Up all night long, I can’t sleep.

During the day, I go through the motions.

I don’t eat, no appetite.

Nothing matters. I can’t find my joy in life.

I’m a zombie, a shell of a human.

I see people laughing and happy but I can’t do it.

All I can think about is my loss, a gaping hole where love is supposed to be.

I’ll never see your face again.

Your smile, your laugh, your hugs.

Gone forever.

It hits me like a ton of bricks and I’m bulldozed.

I feel like I’m treading through deep, murky water.

I move slowly, knowing I must advance but feeling it so hard.