What It Feels Like When Your Heart Bleeds Out

This Isn’t a Sad Story But the Beginning of a New Awakening

I realized one day in horror that I was living a fake life. It wasn’t me that was important but the role I was hired to act in. Like in a play, I had been assigned a part and it was my job to fulfill that role. That is what was expected and should I fail, I would suffer the consequences. And the worst part? I had assigned myself this role!

Yes, I am fully responsible for the outcome.

When I had this awakening, my first thought was confusion.

Why had I never thought of myself more before?

Why had I put my needs last?

What did I actually want in my life?

Who was I anyway?

These were new questions as I’d previously always given to everyone except me:

Wife — My role was to be a good wife to my husband. Listen without saying a word to his criticism, follow and obey his instructions, arrange everything in a way as to please his wishes, and play an outward role as his wife in front of others.

Mother — My most important job. To care for these beautiful precious beings. Of course, I forgot all about myself. It was impossible not to when they have…